I quote others only the better to express myself.
-Michael de Montaigne
I have expressed some of my own thoughts and stories on other pages of
this site and it seemed only fitting that my grandfather's habit of collecting words of
wisdom were passed on to me.
The "pull my finger" habit was passed on to one of my brothers!
|A good conversationalist is not one who remembers what was said, but
says what someone wants to remember.
-John Mason Brown
|I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer
shorts and I know how to use them.
|How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to
-Henry David Thoreau
|Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson? Norm: A little early,
isn't it Woody? Woody: For a beer? Norm: No, for stupid questions.
-Norm Peterson, 'Cheers'
|I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When
they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
|I cannot give you the formula for for success, but I can give you the
formula for failure - which is: Try to please everybody.
-Herbert Bayard Swope
|If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it
- George Bernard Shaw
|A terrible thing happened again last night - nothing.
|I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
-Edgar Allan Poe
|Nobody talks more of free enterprise and competition and of the best
man winning than the man who inherited father's store or farm.
-C. Write Mills
|Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never
|A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other
-Irvin S. Cobb
|My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know of two
other guys she's cut out entirely.
|How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least
triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told
it to the same person?
-Duc de La Rochefoucauld
|Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
-Mike Myers(Austin Powers)
|Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal
in slavery than unequal in freedom.
-Alexis de Tocqueville
|There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some
temptation we resisted.
-James Branch Cabell
|My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw
any reason to limit myself.
|It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never
beginning to live.
|I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive
Thinking" and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
|The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later
you're hungry again.
|Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
|Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength.
-Henry Ward Beecher
|Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from
human brain tissue. It's called assohol.
|The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us
better people, and don't come in clearly enough.
|Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can
find a rock.
|Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
|If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me.
|Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I
can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.
|There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything
or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.
|If you were born to hang, you won't drown.
|A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank
-W. C. Fields
|Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out
they've got a second. Give your dreams all you've got and you'll be amazed at the energy
that comes out of you.
|Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex
raises some pretty good questions.
|I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.
|I may not have a perfect body but I have some excellent parts on it.
|Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things
they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
|In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.
|Be composed - be at ease with me...
Not till the sun excludes you do I exclude you,
Not till the waters refuse to glisten for you and the leaves to rustle for you, do my words refuse to glisten and rustle for you.
|Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from
acquiring the deadening effect of habit.
-W. Somerset Maugham
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